i want to go back to colorado and never leave. 

except maybe, to go to Europe.... or South America.

I haven't been able to write anything down in a while. I have been transitioning between a bunch of levels of happiness and just states of mind and i dont really know how to explain it. But overall, I , right now, am definitely happier than 2 weeks ago and the trip to Colorado is mostly to thank for it. It was in one word refreshing. The people, the air, the solitude of Gunnison and the absesnce of traffic and mainstream American society. It was serenity. I am considering living there in the summer with Stephanie I cant even imagine it, gah that, for three months, in the sunshine, would probably be like utopia.

I am going to buy my Andrew Bird tickets in a minute. I cant wait. Also Bonarroo with Dallas crew is looking like a very possible prospect? um? fucking sweet.

3 tests on thursday before I go home on Friday. not sweet. But Im going to be good and start studying today so I dont have to pull and all nighter and want to die on thursday night :) 

do you appreciate the subtleties of tastebuds?

well this has been a week, but i ammmm going to colorado in the morning :) 

i am becoming slowly more and more of an insomniac, its worrying me.

i am getting into on the road and i love love love it. i havent really taken interest in a novel in way too long it feels good to again. i really cant believe how excited i am to get to colorado, i guess it is as much getting out of Dallas as it is getting to see Steph. something has just been unsettling about being here every since this semester started. I don't know exactly what it is. I have been making myself the most delicious and healthy foods lately. Last night i made a cobb salad with fresh avacodo, diced tomatoes, red onion, grilled chicken, and colby jack shredded cheese with this amazing new italian dressing i bought by newmans own. bahahah i love being such a momsdale. Im going to go running again tonight it feels so much better to know i am living right. no more smoking. Good grades. I suppose i'm pretty happy with my life at this moment, but im still searching for how to become more complete. 

Au revoir 

xx

i realized it had become an issue when..

so dylan kissed me on valentines day.. yes it was very drunken and undoubtably meant nothing more to him than it did me, but reguardless, it was someone ive had attraction towards for over a year.... and when i woke up in the morning and realized, that i still had managed to be texting kevin by the end of the night (430 am zehh) ..... this has become something huger than i thought and something i need to get control of before anything in my life can look up. that is that. it must be done on my own, and without the hopes that some other boy coming along and fixing it by sweeping me off my feet. i have to let go once and for all.

but, i am feeling less depressed than i had the past few weeks, cool? i guess. ive picked up smoking again. what the hell.

omgomgomgomg

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/149153-iron-wine-announce-rarities-comp-all-request-tour

rarities blah blah blah show in nyc the weekend after i get home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently all request instead of all shepherd dog, oOoOo WhAt wiLL i ChOoOoOosssse!!!!!

i really cant belive how unprepared i am for my advertising exam in the morning and how not anxiety stricken panic attack status i am right now. there is something wrong. normally i would be having heart palpitations if i had such an honest grasp of this prospect. i might actually go to sleep tonight? fuck valentines i'm depressed.

someone take me on a date on valentines.

it could potentially involve a little something like those.....  :]

all nighters in the library are so not fun. they make me want to die. why do they still happen??? 

GET CONTROL OF YOURSELF WOMAN

no but really procrastination is, IS, going to be the death of me.