my grandfather is dying. soon. we thought it was going to be between 6 months and a year but apparently my Oma just had a meeting with the funeral director yesterday. my mom called me when i was frying myself some eggs for dinner yesterday but then  i couldn't eat. so, who knows if i'll even be able to use my ticket to colorado for the end of february to see stephanie. i might be in chicago instead, at a cold, snowy funeral. its not right. or wait, he was in the military so maybe it will be in washington. that would be more suiting for him. its so wrong and putting knots in my stomach that i can't be with my mom through this. shes so far away.