Monday, January 26, 2009


I woke up this morning, amidst one of the seemingly longest and most drawn out dreams I've had in a while. It was so fresh in my mind at the time, and I knew I wanted to write about it but I had to get ready and go to class. Therefore most of the details...and actually most of the basic plot memory has been lost over the past 4 hours but I'm going to try to trace and remember as much as I can. 

SO.....no rememberance of the start. But, ok....I remember going to something...a party? in a very strange area, with a friend of mine from home, not a very close friend but someone I have had romantic thoughts about just minimally, and something very wrong happened at the party. I started getting phone calls from my friend Loren, from Dallas, and i think i had to drive my friends car to go pick her up? I remember then being at a house of someone's i didn't know. Maybe the greif I woke up feeling was because I was worried that I was driving and had been drinking? Suddenly he, my friend, was in the car driving us now and we were like in a scene from some lame car racing movie, doing donuts and spinning out on snowy pavement in the pursuit of something..? AH i wish i remembered more to it..... its strange because in some class possibly in high school i remember someone or the teacher telling us that all dreams actually only occur over the lapse of mere seconds. I caaaaant wrap my mind around how that could actually be possible.

That was so uninteresting, yet...the dream itself was actually thrilling. Anyway, schools going pretty well, I went in completely terrified of a few of my classes I'm taking but now I am feeling rather optimistic about them. Not too difficult, mostly very interesting and stimulating. I cannot wait to go abroad somewhere beautiful.




Saturday, January 24, 2009

when a southern anthem rings

I've watched alot of movies this week. I watched Humboldt County yesterday afternoon when I was done with classes it was really good. I want to live in Northern California. In a beautiful forresty-w/-beach area that everyone around me smokes weed like its chewing gum. 

Last night I went to a party and actually had a lot of fun? Approached by 2 different boys I have had my eye on? That was cool....until i smoked weed. I can't believe I did it, its been over a month and a half and I crumble? I also tripped like on acid it was a horrible experience. (i thought i learned not to smoke after drinking a long time ago?)

Right now Im just waiting around to drive out to Rowlett for Denise's 40th birthday party lols too bad Sabrina stopped drinking otherwise tonight would probably be way more fun than it should be.....o wait Framaliz is gonna be there haaaaaaaaaaahaha

I can't get enough of "Noble Beast" Andrew Bird is my favorite musician and with good reason as this album proves. I love himmmm I still can't believe i spent 30 dollars on the extended version of the cd, damn you good records guy who always pressures me to spend more than i can actually afford!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

the reader

I am so thankful I made the decision to see the Reader tonight because it was...simply one of the most incredible films...I've ever seen. On every level. I can't stop thinking about it. Everything about it. And the actors performances? I was just amazed. Kate Winslet really is incredible. And David Kross... I wouldn't be able to help myself from having an affiar with him either...wooooow.

Definitely the best film of 2008 but easily one of the best films that I've ever seen. Ill stop gushing...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

will sheff, how can you see into my life?

Hot breath, rough skin
warm laughs and smiling,
the lovliest words, whispered and meant
you (i) like all these things.

But, though you like all these things
you love a stone.
You love a stone,
because it's smooth and it's cold.
And you'd love most to be told
that it's all your own.

You love white veins,
you love hard grey,
the heaviest weight,
the clumsiest shape,
the earthiest smell,
the hollowest tone
you love a stone.

You love a stone,
because it's dark and it's old,
and if it could start being alive
you'd stop living alone
.
And I think I believe that,
if stones could dream,
they'd dream of being laid 
side-by-side, piece-by-piece,
and turned into a castle
for some towering queen
they're unable to know.

And when that queen's daughter came of age,
I think she'd be lovely and stubborn and brave,
and suitors would journey from kingdoms away 
just to make themselves known....

[so basically, it scares me how well these words embody my relationship with kevin, especially as of late. i, love.. (eh essentially), a hollow, consciously existing stone.]

Sunday, January 18, 2009

weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird

liberation

i wrote him. 
its pretty bizarre to actually put this behind me.
finally,

???

Monday, January 12, 2009


on another note: getting a much needed hair cut tomorrow :[