Friday, November 21, 2008

rendering me freakish and dazed...





This girl has been my best friend for ever, almost continuously, since I moved to New Jersey at least, at age...12? I have been thinking about her alot lately, I guess knowing I'm going home soon, 3 weeks to the day. I guess that explains why I've been unearthing all these thoughts about all these people from home lately. I am very uncomfortable with the position I'm at with most of the people that once meant everything to me. I haven't spoken to Laura in over 3 months. Its really sad. Its really sad when you watch someone change so much, see it all happening before your eyes, knowing what's happening, with no control of the situation. I've finally accepted that no matter how much it might mean to me, I have to, and have, just let go sometimes. It just sucks when thats happening to all the most important people to you at once. Really all i have left is Gal and Lauren. Gal hates being home anyway. Home is the most important place to me, I love the frustrating, overwhelming congestion of it, the constant nag of living in the same house as my parents, dealing with my little brother (AW), even the dull constant nothingness that Southern New Jersey offers- this is just the most awful feeling losing all the people that helped form my foundation there. I guess its typical me though- ever resistant to change. But I'm going to be 21 in 10 months, moving to Copenhagen in 13, graduating in 2 years. Maybe i just need work on embracing it?

listening to : saves the day (appropriate huh? drowning in nostalgia)

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